eToys

Full review
There are so many good websites for ordering toys online, it pays to be selective when choosing a merchant. There are some real dogs out there, more interested in taking your money than providing service. And eToys is one of them.

When a friend asked me to get a bassinet for a baby shower gift, she sent me a link directly to the item on eToys.com. I did a quick search on Froogle and found that the bassinet was offered at about a dozen online merchants, but eToys was what she sent me, so I ordered from eToys. Their price was no better than other merchants like Target.com but I decided not to question my friend's recommendation.

I'd seen the name eToys before -- but vaguely remembered it as a failed dot-com era "name" (along with "Pets.com" and Webvan). I noted that eToys.com was an online store owned by KBToys (which, oddly enough, is also online at KBToys.com), so I figured eToys.com was the "name" that KBToys bought for a song and kept alive. "Was this failed dot-com website a failure for a reason?", I wondered in the back of my mind as I went through the ordering process for my gift bassinet?

Since my friend had sent me the direct link to the product, I didn't have to do much work finding the product. But I did a quick search for "bassinets" anyway. eToys carried only 8 bassinets -- far fewer options than I'd hoped. A quick search for "bassinets" on Froogle.com, for instance, returns dozens of options. And the eToys results weren't given in any particular order. The bassinets were listed in what seemed a random sequence, rather than by price or popularity. But the information on my item was clear, the price was identical to the best prices I found on Froogle, and the eToys.com site said it was "in stock". These factors made me overlook that nagging feeling that eToys was this company that went out of business -- and possibly for a reason.

Big mistake.

When I accidentally checked the box that said "Shipping address is same as Billing address" and completing the order, I immediately recognized my error and looked for a way to correct it with eToys. With a rising sense of dismay, I noted that the website made finding an actual person to speak with at eToys *very* difficult. Instead, everything drives customers back to an online "help" page, and then strongly suggests using their email-to-customer service for contacting eToys.

I'm always suspicious when merchants try to steer customers away from real customer service agents, but I decided to accept eToys directives and wrote an email requesting the address fix on my order -- and I wrote this within 4 minutes of my transaction. I received one automated response (again telling me to use their online "Help" section!) and that I would have a response to my email within 12 hours from eToys.

24 hours later, I still hadn't heard anything so I searched again on eToys to find a real phone number to call. This time I found one (buried on the 4th level deep of their website) and called immediately.

What ensued was absolutely the WORST online merchant experience I've ever dealt with -- and I've been buying products online since 1996. eToys sprinkles disclaimers throughout the purchasing process with warnings like, "Due to our automated delivery system, once you click this button, you will be charged and the order shipped, and it can not be cancelled." Buyers should beware. Attempts to change even a simple aspect on an order (such as amend the shipping address) can not be done by eToys customer service. No matter who you talk to or what you try, eToys will tell you it's too late to do anything, "our system is totally automated", the customer service rep repeated to me. It's totally automated, all right: to ship products and charge you for them -- customer service be damned. There was no way she could update the address on my order. And she had the audacity to say that eToys never received my email about the error in the order. Even if they had received one soon after the order placement, she told me she wasn't sure such a fix could be made anyway. "The items is 'booked' very quickly on the shipping floor, and once 'booked', we can't make changes."

I had my automated email response, so I knew that eToys had gotten my email notice. But it was all to no avail. They were going to ship this bassinet to me, whether I wanted it or not. I tried to simply cancel the order -- since it hadnt' shipped yet and was clearly still in Virginia. "I'm sorry", again I was told. "We can't cancel it either". The best I could do would be to refuse to accept the shipment when it arrives.

To add insult to injury, eToys ships using AirborneExpress (one of the worst carriers around). Packages are left on your doorstop without signature or tracking, so there's no recourse for refusing if you don't want to accept the item (a frequent occurence, given how poor is eToy's customer service). And so one day last week I came home to find a large boxed bassinet weighing 30+ pounds sitting unprotected right on my front porch.

eToys charges an inordinately large sum for shipping, I discovered later when I ordered the same item for the same price from Target.com. But what was truly galling was I was then forced to pay shipping costs myself back on the return. Merchants like Buy.com will send you a postage-paid return label when you request an RMA (return) on a product you've already received. eToys was truly a terrible experience, top to bottom.

I saved money and got better order response from Target.com for the same item. Online merchants like Amazon.com and Buy.com are just as automated as eToys, but have no problem communicating with their fulfillment chain. eToys simply makes excuses. I'll never use them again. Ever.