She's Choking Me! She's Choking Me - I'm Breathless

I’m Breathless – no not really! – and neither is this album when complied in Madonna’s overall career. The music is “from and inspired by the film Dick Tracy” which basically afforded Madonna to return to acting all sultry (Body of Evidence) and singing by showing off her new blond curls (she was blond in Papa Don’t Preach but they were gelled back).

The soundtrack is Madonna’s best attempt to be comedic – and have a movie to blame it all on. The question of who’s that girl has been answered…she a girl who loves a man in yellow and sings till we are red in the face.

Madonna’s inspired album begins with “He’s A Man” – like duh! – a slow sultry ballroom song with Madonna singing, “You’re a man with a gun in your hand, waging a war between good and evil can be a bore. If you don’t take time, it’s not nice, so here’s my advice. Take your love on the run, oh God, let me be the one. Ah, ah, ah, man with a gun.” In terms of tone Madonna sounds childish yet sexy (scary!). It gets worse as the album proceeds as we are treated to such stupid tracks as “I’m Going Bananas”, “Hanky Panky”, “Cry Baby”, and “More”.

There’s not enough words in the English language words to describe how irritating these songs easily become. But Madonna tries, let’s listen in……

Cry Baby: “I don't want to hurt his feelings, But his outbursts have me really Boo-hoo-hoo-ing all the time. If I turn out like him, I think I'm gonna cry, baby La, la, la, la, la, la, He's such a cry baby, La, la, la, la, la, la.”

Hanky Panky: “Like hanky panky [hanky panky], Nothing like a good spanky [good spanky]. Don't take out your handkerchiefs, I don't wanna cry, I just wanna hanky panky.”

I’m Going Bananas: “Hola! Ese bato loco! I'm going bananas! And I feel like my poor little mind is being devoured by piranhas, for I'm going bananas. I'm non compos mentes! And I feel like a tooth being drilled, a nerve being killed by a dentist, for I'm non compos mentes!!!”

More: “I'm no mathematician, all I know is addition. I find counting a bore, keep the number mounting, your accountant does the counting. [More! More!]”

Both “I’m Going Bananas” and “Cry Baby” have Madonna strongly singing like a small child on Star Search. She pants, rants, and would in essence get time out on any playground. I’m pretty confident that both songs were not meant to be taken serious – but still they are not playful by any means – so they should be skipped both for what they meant to be and what they are.

Besides “He’s A Man” which fits within both Madonna’s and Warren Betty’s character as a whole – the only additional tracks that drew me to this album the first time I heard it would be “Something To Remember” and “Back in Business.”

“Something to Remember” is a very slow ballad fueled forward heavily by a piano. Madonna calms down from her hypertension of going bananas and crying – and sings a powerful ballad that any fan could listen to with and without thinking of the movie.

“Back in Business” is the exact opposite for clearly it is confined within the movie – but the song has a cool groove to it as it builds slowly to its big main chorus.

You may be wondering why I didn’t state above that the track “Vogue” was an track that drew me to the album the first time I heard it – that’s because I had already purchased Madonna’s Immaculate Collection CD by this point in time and had already heard the song before I knew it was included on the I’m Breathless CD. I had no idea that “Vogue” was actually a song “inspired” by Dick Tracy – but then again after listening to the track and hearing all the names mentioned during the song (Greta Garbo, Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Dean, Marlon Brando, Grace Kelly, Jean Harlow, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Rita Hayworth, and Bettie Davis) I understand how it fit within the movie at least in terms of being inspired.

Overall, I don’t see any reason for anyone or any fan to buy this album by today’s standards. Although I enjoyed “Something to Remember” and “Back in Business” – they don’t justify the purchase. And since “Something to Remember” was later added to Madonna’s Greatest Hits album by the same name and “Vogue” can be found on the Immaculate Collection it makes purchasing this album even more not worth it. On both Greatest Hits albums you get far more quality and quantity of good music by Madonna than you’ll find on this album.

The only reason I would vaguely suggest someone purchase this album (although granted you can buy it for far less online in some used store for about the price of a Sunday special cheeseburger!) – is that it was an interesting part in Madonna’s career. Historically it shows that although famous Madonna couldn’t help living a life so far outside any other artist at the time. Her choice in movie roles proves not only that she was a risk taker – but that she didn’t care about risk and just went for what she wanted head first, sink or swim.